Then comes the pang of pain, a lust, not for the body but for the relationship. You want to be happy with that person, only. It is a blinding flash temporarily killing your vision. You can not even see that the person you love is happy, already. Its not fair, I know. Its not fair, you know. And of all the times you have faced unfairness, this time, you want life to be fair, for you. All the happiness in you is drained. Obsession might be the right word. But you are called a ‘FANATIC’.

Every emotion I feel.

Every thought crossing my mind.

I filter,

To take out, you, of them.

Holding on to you.

Leaving all else aside. You my Love,

You my hate.

You my hurt, You my pain.

Happiness? Who needs it now.

A fragile thing at most,

It will lead me nowhere.

You are my anger, You my revenge.

Smile now never comes,

Only a mournful sneer,

Or a senile laugh.

You are my passion,

To justify all wrong, that I do.

To be evil to all,

And to you.

For you I shall kill, rob and hurt.

For you I shall cry, shout and die.

You, Yes You are my sole reason.

My survival, my end and in between,

I leave it on you.

Can you be mine, Oh! Please.

Mercy will be upon you.

With every waning moon that I see,

and every day as moon-light recede.

The devil in me is getting stronger.

Vile and loathsome though he may be,

It is but a tiny kid to thee.

Look into your heart, leaving your mind.

Look into my heart, trust me.

Else blame will be upon you,

You let a poor thing go rot.

You smiled when I cried,

Happy were you in my misery.

You are the reason for what I am.

You shall be the reason for future,

Dark, black, ugly.

Whatever it might be.

Dedicated to all the Fanatics.

If love is not an obsession then its not enough Love.

For my millions dreams, I see.

Wishes, hopes, tears and joy.

But Alas!

Amidst all the commotion,

All the kill, hate and blabber.

What I do? What I do?

Have to run away,

Fly off far away.

God, where are you?

I want my moment.

Please,

A moment is what I need

For my millions dreams, I see.

A little moistening of the cheeks,

Followed.

Reminding all the truths.

Hidden that were

In the bottom if my heart.

Pain that I feel, sorrow that I felt.

It all came back to me.

I have lost a million times.

Why does it hurt now?

Burnt in love a few times.

Why does it hurt now?

All the memories coming back to me.

Like before death they do.

……………………………….

PS- After this my train of thoughts collapsed and this incomplete poem is left. Though somehow it feels complete, to me. Only, it can not justify the title.