Having worked there six months,

I sure know her well.

Her boyfriend picks her everyday.

And they have a place called home.

She has the perfect life, obtaining everyone’s jealousy.

No wonder I have when I see,

A twinkle in her eyes.

A redness on her lips, blushing of the cheeks.

No wonder I have when I see,

A love bite she hides.

Every day for six months,

I wanted a share,

In her happiness.

Every day for six months,

I needed her secret for happiness.

I asked her, Oh! I asked her many times.

But no reply I got, none but a smile.

Once as usual, mesmerized by the love bite.

I was looking at her slender neck.

The tiny little blue bruise let me to a slash.

Which was passing through the collar bone,

And visible at the back.

My shock I could not hide,

From the pretty young damsel.

She asked me with a quizzical look.

Nothing from me but a finger at the mark.

She smiled, and said to me.

“You asked me my secret.

But you found it yourself.”

With that she went past,

Leaving me alone, aghast.

Before you, as before.

Love me again as you have loved me.

Please oh! please touch me again.

We are no more,

The moon and the stars.

The sun and the fire.

No more does my heart says ‘I love you’.

But once again I need you.

But once again I want you.

Please oh! please touch me again.

This is lust you may say.

May be my fruitless attempt,

To have you back.

No, its not I tell you.

I need you not with me.

We are through and gone.

You were my boyfriend once someday.

But the day is gone, the moment over.

You are my past and no more I say.

Nothing should give anything away.

Touch me again though,

And

Then forget my stay.

Then comes the pang of pain, a lust, not for the body but for the relationship. You want to be happy with that person, only. It is a blinding flash temporarily killing your vision. You can not even see that the person you love is happy, already. Its not fair, I know. Its not fair, you know. And of all the times you have faced unfairness, this time, you want life to be fair, for you. All the happiness in you is drained. Obsession might be the right word. But you are called a ‘FANATIC’.

Every emotion I feel.

Every thought crossing my mind.

I filter,

To take out, you, of them.

Holding on to you.

Leaving all else aside. You my Love,

You my hate.

You my hurt, You my pain.

Happiness? Who needs it now.

A fragile thing at most,

It will lead me nowhere.

You are my anger, You my revenge.

Smile now never comes,

Only a mournful sneer,

Or a senile laugh.

You are my passion,

To justify all wrong, that I do.

To be evil to all,

And to you.

For you I shall kill, rob and hurt.

For you I shall cry, shout and die.

You, Yes You are my sole reason.

My survival, my end and in between,

I leave it on you.

Can you be mine, Oh! Please.

Mercy will be upon you.

With every waning moon that I see,

and every day as moon-light recede.

The devil in me is getting stronger.

Vile and loathsome though he may be,

It is but a tiny kid to thee.

Look into your heart, leaving your mind.

Look into my heart, trust me.

Else blame will be upon you,

You let a poor thing go rot.

You smiled when I cried,

Happy were you in my misery.

You are the reason for what I am.

You shall be the reason for future,

Dark, black, ugly.

Whatever it might be.

Dedicated to all the Fanatics.

If love is not an obsession then its not enough Love.

Err.. Don’t get me wrong sir.

Am not accusing or doubting you.

Sure though there is some error.

I am human still, I feel.

O Death! Please come again.

Yes, I saw the sights.

The tunnel too was pretty bright.

Alas! Though now everything seems normal.

It seems like a hospital bed.

A bright tube dazzling my eyes.

Doctors and nurses glad.

Proud of their foolish achievement.

What do they know.

Its your callousness not their capability.

That brought this upon me.

Oh! Sir, I mean no disrespect.

Its just am frustrated.

Was so ready for this yes, I was.

Perfect the moment was.

For my sudden demise.

O Death! Please come again.

Now don’t give me that look.

You know as well as I.

‘What I am saying?’

You know my heart through and through.

I am bored, bored of being alive.

And then you give me dreams.

Dreams of the end.

No happiness, no sorrow.

No past or tomorrow.

The end was gentle to the core.

I had no need to be gentle anymore.

No pretence of being subtle.

No force of being loud.

No ego to push me down.

It was a dream come true.

I could love what I want.

I could love whom I want.

Hate would not have to be buried.

And now you say to me WHAT!!

It was a mistake!

Bloody hell it was.

Pardon me sir, for my language.

Now I want this mistake back.

I want my life back.

O Death! Please come again.

Mistake or with possible consideration.

Take me with you, again.

O Death! Please come again.

A little moistening of the cheeks,

Followed.

Reminding all the truths.

Hidden that were

In the bottom if my heart.

Pain that I feel, sorrow that I felt.

It all came back to me.

I have lost a million times.

Why does it hurt now?

Burnt in love a few times.

Why does it hurt now?

All the memories coming back to me.

Like before death they do.

……………………………….

PS- After this my train of thoughts collapsed and this incomplete poem is left. Though somehow it feels complete, to me. Only, it can not justify the title.